The Ties That Bind
by Snow-Queen1
Summary: When she recieves a desperate plea for help from her future self, Kagome knows that the wish that was made on the jewel can either break or bind her ties with Inuyasha. She risks her own salvation and his life... Will she end up just like Kikyo?
1. Prologue

Hello! First of all, I have no freaking clue where this is going. I thought I'd try my luck with idea that popped into my head… That said, please read and enjoy. This will probably be angst filled but rest assured, for every pang and pain I promise a moment of pink fluff. I'm staying true to the manga on this, so Kagome's eyes are blue-gray, and Sango's are either green or gray (or brown but seriously, no one has any evidence of this crap!). (I have to check resources on that, bear with me please)

Why are you still reading this? Get onto the fic for God sakes. -.-'

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

* * *

"I was a silly girl."

The words get caught in my throat, and they end up coming out hoarse, scratchy. I'm sure he heard me though, after all, he is a demon.

Amber meets blue-gray, and I see he's trying to figure out if this is a joke. I see the confusion in his eyes, the wheels of his mind turning, and I picture his train of thought in my head, _'Kagome never jokes like this though... she must be serious_?'

I almost smile bitterly, (I love it when he acts so cutely aloof) but I catch myself in time.

"I don't understand", He says slowly

I sigh, and try very hard to swallow the lump that has found its way into my throat. It's not working, so I do the only thing I've been able to master perfectly in the two years since I began coming down the well, and that's a dazzling smile. Fake? Yes, but no one can tell but me.

This is just another play I've been forced into by my loyal friends as the lead part. This is another role I have to play perfectly, make the audience roar, make a few tears come to Mama's eyes.

I let out a giggle.

"Inuyasha, you didn't think I planned on _staying_ here in the Feudal Era, did you?"

His face is still dumbfounded.

I roll my eyes, and grab his hand, patting it.

"You and Kikyo have a lot of catching up to do! The last thing you need is me hanging around!"

Ah yes, Kikyo. My other counterpart, the other me whom I am supposed to be the reincarnation of.

She's alive, and glowing, and it's my _entire_ fault.

When the jewel was completed, everything happened quickly. I had it in my hand, Inuyasha was fighting Naraku with Sango and Miroku at his side, and before I knew it, Naraku was at eye level with me. I must have been hit, or blacked out, because I had a vision.

I was Kikyo. Inuyasha had told me that he would become human, so we could live out the rest of our lives together. I couldn't believe he loved me. _Me_, a cursed, plain, girl. He understood my pain, I understood his, but together we would have no more. I even saw our future children clearly, two girls, and a little boy who acted just like his father. I was giddy with happiness, knowing that soon, that could become a reality.

I let the walls I had so carefully built around myself, _crumble_. Inuyasha _loved_ me. Inuyasha _needed_ me. Inuyasha would _never_ betray me.

_He did_.

He did and I felt her _pain_ at the moment of her death. I felt the confusion, the pure _agony_ of losing something so dear, something that she never even got to _experience_. I felt her love for him turn into confusion, then anger, then a hollow sadness as she realized that indeed, he had betrayed her.

I felt her eternal pain as she passed into the afterlife, then I awoke.

My head hurt badly, and not ten feet in front of me, Inuyasha was still battling with Naraku.

I looked around, and noticed that both Sango and Miroku were out cold. Shippo was shaking them, Kirara at his side.

I remembered how it felt to be Kikyo, and I made that unselfish wish.

I wished upon the Shikon for her to live again. I wished for her to find the happiness that her heart had so wanted, had so deserved. For her make Inuyasha happy, for them to be happy _together_. I wished with every fiber of my being.

_It came true_. That is why I stand here at the well, with Inuyasha in front of me, trying to explain to him why I must go home. Why I must never return. Why I must hide my broken heart and never speak of this again to any being, or risk losing my sanity.

Inuyasha, my love, I do this for you. _Oh, Kami_, make this a bad dream. Let me wake up please. I'm not sure how much longer my heart can take this.

Suddenly my head swims, my eyes are filling with tears and I'm trying so hard to resist the urge to throw up.

I have to finish this. _Now._I have to gather up my courage, say goodbye, and jump down the well for the last time. I have to let …

What the _hell_?!?

"I don't know what kind of crap you're trying to pull Kagome, but I'm not in the mood to put up with it right now."

He has me thrown over his shoulder, and he's running back to the village.

I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or _osuwari_ him.


	2. Damaged

Bonjour peoples! Gomen nesai for taking so long to put this chapter out. My internet was cut off for the longest time and of course, I, having nothing to do, wrote and did meaningless things. I'm still begging for it to be hooked up so if this chapter ever appears online, then XD. Yes well, back to business then. I have discovered that Sango's eyes are in fact grey. For proof refer to the following link: LINK HERE. I've tried my best to have everyone in character, and for those who are questioning my motives, no, I'm not a Kikyo Lover. Actually I'm a Kikyo hater but that's another fanfiction. '.

_Dreaming comes so easily,_

'_Cause it's all that I know_

_True love is a fairytale_

_I'm damaged, so how would I know?_

_-_Damaged, Plummet

He put me down in front of Kaede's hut. I bit my lip.

What would Kikyo be like now that she wasn't... _dead_?

I shook my head slightly.

It didn't matter what she was like. She had just returned, and she had done nothing wrong. I should be as helpful as I could. As welcoming as possible. As sympathetic and kind as I'd want if I were in her place.

Even if...

I trembled.

Even if _he_ and _she_ became _they_.

Even if he pushed me aside and picked up right where he left off with her.

I would be Kagome, myself. I would not give into any bad notions or thoughts about her. She is a _person_. She deserves _respect._

But... _what about me?_

What's going to happen to me?

What's going to happen to _us_?

He nudged me forward.

"Seriously Kagome, maybe you should rest or something. You're not acting like yourself today."

I nodded.

"Uh, sure."

Then, I stepped inside.

The moment I walked in, Kikyo's eyes lit up. It's almost scary to have such kind looks upon me when all I can think are bad things about this person.

She was in an animated conversation with her sister; my presence must have interrupted them.

"Ah, the lady of the moment."

Miroku's eyes swept over me, and I can tell he's trying his hardest to observe my reaction to her. He locks eyes with Sango, and some secret communication passes between them. I've always envied that.

"Kagome-chan, there's room to sit right here." Sango pats the mat beside her.

I nod, and am about to take my wonderful friend's suggestion when Kikyo's voice slices through the air.

"Actually, I was wondering if I could possibly speak to you, Kagome-sama."

_Kagome-sama?_

I nodded again.

"Of course."

She rises, gives a slight bow to everyone, and leads the way out the door.

I follow.

Kikyo has led me to the Bone Eater's Well. I can't help thinking that maybe this is some ploy to get me alone so she can scream at me to return to my time and push me down it again.

I know, I know. Such an imagination I have.

She sits on the edge of it, and stares at her feet.

"I… wanted to thank you."

I blink.

Her eyes meet mine.

"I realize that this must be very hard for you, but all the same, you deserve my eternal thanks."

"I… you're welcome…"

She smiles.

I smile back, but it's my fake one.

Every second, this keeps getting more surreal, and all I can do is act polite. There is an unspoken issue between us, and neither has brought it up yet.

Who gets Inuyasha?

Who's going to step aside and let the other progress?

Who now, is the reincarnation of whom?

Am I still me? Is she still her?

We are who we are, and one of us is _meant_ to be with him.

Maybe both.

Maybe it won't matter to fate who gets to stay with him. Maybe it's just a roll of the die.

I add up my points.

Kikyo was there first.

Kikyo was before Kagome.

Inuyasha loved Kikyo before he loved Kagome.

Wait, he's never told me he loved me.

Kikyo belongs here, not like Kagome, who is from another time.

_But Kikyo died! _

Why do I have to suffer because of this?

"I can tell that you are confused."

I jump.

"To tell you the truth, I am as well."

I nod.

Okay, that's great. I'm so glad you've decided to share that with the rest of the class. It really helps.

She sighs.

"Inuyasha is still a hanyou. Because the jewel was used to bring me back, there is no hope for him to be human."

My eyes widen.

_That. _That is the only thing that ever bothered me about Kikyo. I want to scream at her. How selfish she is! _He feels weak when he's human! That is the worst thing that you could ever ask him to do! He's finally accepted who he is, and all you want to do is rip it away from him for your own reasons? _

"Why is there need for him to become human? You no longer guard the Shikon no Tama, you are free to live the life of a normal woman."

She shakes her head sadly.

"I was hoping that perhaps… he and I… it's not possible, you see. Hanyou's live much longer and age slower then humans. By the time I am an old woman, he will only look as if he's in his twenties."

I know that, and you know what, Kikyo? _It doesn't bother me one bit. _I accept Inuyasha for who he is, and what he isn't. I will never try to change the one I love, because it's those qualities you find offensive that I fell in love with.

"I see."

She smiles at me.

"I'm glad we've come to an agreement then. I knew you'd understand. Thank you."

She almost bounces off in joy, while I am left here blinking.

What did I agree to!

I sigh and collapse on the edge of the well.

Something keeps tugging at my sleeve, and I glance at it wearily.

"Kagome, I been thinking."

"About what, Shippo-chan?"

He hops on my lap, and I can't help but smile. What would I do without my Shippo-chan?

His green eyes peer into mine anxiously.

"When you go back through the well, what's gonna happen to me?"

I blink.

He shakes his head, and I can tell he's been thinking about this for a while now.

"I mean, because the Shikon no Tama isn't here anymore, that means you can't come back again."

I freeze.

_He's right._

I might not even be able to get back now!

I turn my head and peer into the darkness. If Shippo's right, I might only have a one way ticket home. If I'm right, I might not even have that.

_Oh Kami,_ would I even dare to try going home for fear of never seeing this place again? Would I even dare to try for fear of falling hard and looking up to still see Shippo's face?

He's still looking at me inquiringly.

"So, whatcha gonna do Kagome?"

"I… don't know."

I just don't know.


	3. Silently Broken

Third chapter... Still no internet. -.-' If you're reading this then I'm not dead, but I suggest you download or (god forbid) _buy_ The Best of Inuyasha II CD… Very great music on it, makes even more sense if you understand Japanese and broken English, and even more sense still if you can find a decent translation. ' Since I'm just randomly babbling, I'd like to announce that Gackt is a god, but HYDE is Satan. Who do I love more? Choices! Choices! I really did have a nosebleed during Kei's (A.K.A Hyde) outburst at Sho (A.K.A Gackt) during MOONCHILD. Perhaps I love HYDE more… Damn their hotness. Damn their hotness to my room… XD Of course, Sheeshmoo (Sesshy) is higher on the hotchain then both of them. If I had the chance to kidnap _just one_ then it would Sheeshmoo and I would be eternally happy. Bwahahahahahahahaha!

_I heard the words come out,_

_I felt like I would die,_

_It hurt so much to hurt you._

_And you look at me,_

_You're not shouting anymore,_

_You're silently broken._

_-Forgive Me,_ Evanescence

I'm not sure how much time has passed, but it must be a few hours because dusk it closing in. Shippo fell asleep on my lap, and now he's curled in my arms, his thumb in his mouth. He yawns and snuggles in closer to my breast.

It's sort of funny how he must be at least fifty, but he's still got that baby scent on him.

"Kagome?"

I give a slight start at my name, and jerk my head toward his voice.

"You've been out here for a while. Kikyo was worried."

Inuyasha comes into view, and sits beside me tentavely.

_Kikyo was worried… but not you? You weren't thinking of me then? _

I'm glad it's dark because I don't think I can hide the hurt look in my eyes.

He sighs, and I can feel the warmth radiating off his body at my side.

"Kagome, did something happen between you and Kikyo?"

I didn't answer. How can I tell him what happened when I don't even know myself?

"Kagome? Hey! Kagome!"

He poked me.

"Are you listening? Hello?"

I glared at him.

"Oh gee, I don't know. I'm just sitting out here for no reason at all while you and her pick up right where you left off!"

His mouth drops open, and mine does too.

_Did I say that? What's wrong with me?_

Suddenly I felt my hurt turn into anger.

"Obviously, I'm no longer of any use to you. After all, without the Shikon no Tama, you don't need a _Jewel Detector_ around, and now that Kikyo's alive and healthy, you don't have to pretend I'm her substitute either!"

I pushed Shippo into his arms, jumped up and pointed my finger at him, jabbing his chest.

"I know Inuyasha! Why don't you stop beating around the bush and just tell me what you _really_ came out here to say? You choose Kikyo? _I know that._ I'll always be second best? _I know that too._ You wish you never met me? _That's more apparent then anything._ You don't even have to say it. I can see it in your face. I'm the intruder here. I've come along and because I was the stand-in princess, now that the _real_ one's here, I'm _ruining_ your fairy tale!"

I turned around and took a few steps toward the forest. My shoulders are shaking. I can't believe I said that. I can't believe I could be so harsh. It was like… those words weren't even mine.

"K-K-Kagome?"

His voice is disbelieving, dripping with the hurt he's trying not to show.

"I _hate_ you, _Hanyou_." I told him bitterly.

Oh _Kami_. _What is the matter with me!_

"What the hell did I do to you? Snap out of it stupid!" He yells angrily

I can't stay here. I can't face him. I take off into the forest, leaving him still sitting there with Shippo in his arms, darkness all around us.

Branches whipped at me, slicing open my flesh, grabbing me with their leafy claws.

I ran until I couldn't run anymore. My sides were aching with fatigue and I couldn't stop the tears from running.

How could I? How did I manage to say those awful things? I called him a _Hanyou!_ He hates being called that! _I said I hated him. I… I said so many terrible things to him… _

I'm a horrible person.

I fell to my knees, sobbing.

How he must feel right now. I treated him like…

"Trash?"

I nodded.

"Trash!"

_Huh? What the…_

I looked up, and stared at the speaker with my mouth wide open.


	4. Sins Yet Committed

Bwaha! Fourth chapter, and I finally think I know where this is going! Well I have a plot-bunny caught in a cage at least… So yes, still no internet but I'm fighting tooth and nail for that and sixty dollars for a Sesshoumaru Chibi plushie… XD

Update: I'm online! Yay for me! I'm glad people are actually reading this fic! Thank you all! Cliffhanger in this chapter, and I have computer edited images to go along with it, but I can't seem to make the links work... So, if you want to see them, go to geocities dot com, slash pearl underscore ursula underscore 2000 slash pics dot html

_A crown of gold,_

_A heart that's harder then stone,_

_And it hurts a whole lot,_

_But it's missed when it's gone._

_I'm glad that you can forgive, only hoping as time goes..._

_**You can't forget**._

_You are second hand smoke,_

_You are so fragile and thin,_

_Standing trial for your sins..._

_-The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot, _Brand New

I know that I really shouldn't be that surprised to see myself floating above myself, but I feel like I'm about to jump out of my skin. Let's backtrack a bit here, shall we?

I am thinking my semi-self-pity thoughts to myself, and suddenly another me voices them aloud. This other me isn't Kikyo, but it could be if It's hair wasn't cut in a shag style and yes, _floating. _

I just can't seem to get over the floating part.

Back to reality now. Focus Kagome! FOCUS!

"This can't be real…" I utter

The other me gives me a pitying look.

"To my chagrin, it is." She says

"I see. Well then I'll just be going now…"

I try to walk away, but it seems that there's a spherical barrier surrounding us.

This doesn't make any sense. If I placed this barrier here, I should be able to break it. Well, she.

"Why can't I break through this barrier?" I demand

"My- well, our Miko powers got stronger after we left the Feudal Era."

"Uhuh… I see…"

Her feet touch down on the ground. Well, her red Hakama touch down. She's wearing the clothes of a Miko.

"I know you must be very confused, but you must listen to me. I understand that what happened back there with Inuyasha is emotionally draining, but if you decide to tune out now, there'll be no hope for us."

I know it now. I've lost my mind. Saying things so harsh? Floating? Me? Us? What's a girl have to go through to be normal around here?

I blink at her.

"I'm listening."

She rolls her eyes.

"You're not. Pay attention if you don't want to be the future Mrs. Hojo."

What can I say? I captivate myself.

She sighs in relief.

"Good. I don't have alot of time before Taro and Kaiya come home."

"You... you're from the future?"

"Yes."

"Wait... who are Taro and Kaiya? If you're from the future how are you speaking to me? What's going on?"

She sighs.

"It's taken me years... to gather this much power for this purpose. I don't even know what changes this may cause. I'm only hoping you'll listen to what I have to say and heed my warning."

I'm fully alert now, although there are tear streaks down my cheeks.

"Is something bad going to happen?"

"Something bad already has, and it began a chain reaction that made your whole life harder then it ever was."

My eyes have began to fill with tears again. This is a great ending to my already bad day.

Her eyes soften.

"Don't cry. If we can get through this, I promise you'll never have a reason to cry again."

She sighs and takes a seat in front of me.

"I will tell you as much as I can... It won't be alot, but hopefully it'll help."

I nod, and she begins, her blue-grey eyes becoming pensive.

"I suppose it starts here... after we ran away from Inuyasha... after we wished Kikyo back..."

Suddenly a ghostly child's voice floats through the air. "Mama? I'm home! Where are you?"

The other me's eyes go wide.

"I have to hurry. You see, one thing led to another, and we end up going home. Our assumptions are right, and we can't get back no matter how hard we try. We're stuck with the consequences of what we did, and everything falls to pieces. Kagome! I beg of you! Whatever you do, don't let Inuyasha escort Kikyo to confirm Naraku's death! You'll regret it forever!"

"What? I don't understand!" I almost yell hysterically

She turns her head, to look at something I can't see.

"I'll try to contact you again. Good luck, Kagome!"

And then she is gone, and a pounding silence fills my ears. The tears are threatening to come again, and I know I shouldn't be out here after dark. But what just happened won't leave me, and when the oily voice whispers in my ear, it's too late to defend myself.


	5. Fall To Pieces

_Yay! I updated! R+R! I shall reward you all with another chapter soon!_

_I looked away  
Then I look back at you  
You try to say  
The things that you can't undo  
If I had my way  
I'd never get over you  
Today's the day  
I pray that we make it through  
Make it through the fall  
Make it through it all_

_Fall to Pieces- Avril Lavigne_

"Ahh... such a pretty woman. You hardly every get pretty women out here at night."

I stiffen and am pushed down by the boar-demon. I struggle fruitlessly, but his bulk is on top of me and I'm out of breath before I can scream.

"First... I'm going to rape you. Then if you're pregnant, I'll let you live until you have the baby, then I'll eat you. If you're not... I'll still eat you," He whispers, "Piece... by... piece..."

I'm disgusted by his breath. I know I should be thinking of my untimely demise right now, but the threat of the other me and this demon combined still hasn't seem to sunk in yet.

"Let me go." I gasp

He lets out a big booming laugh.

"Let you go? Ha! Stupid humans..."

With practised, chubby fingers, he rips off my shirt and I am left in my bra and skirt. I'd go red if there weren't other things on my mind here.

_Barrier... I can make a barrier... I just have to concentrate... I can get him off... _

_No. No! Scream for Inuyasha!_

I scream, but he clamps his hand over my mouth and swears.I bite him and he hits me in the face. I can feel blood oozing down my mouth.

_Barrier... concentrate..._

But I can't. I can't make a barrier with him on top of me undoing his hakama. (A.N: Hakamapants)

A tear seeps out of my eye. This must be where the child's voice came from. This must be the mistake I made. Getting raped by a boar demon and bearing his child. This must be why I left afterall.

I'm doomed.

I choke on my blood, and the world is getting hazy again.

_No... This can't be happening... _

Wait a minute. Where did the demon go? I hear snarling, but I'm too weak to open to my eyes. Too weak to do anything really, but black out right then and there.

I shiver uncontrollably when someone wipes my face with a wet rag.

"Mama?"

"No, Kagome-chan. It's Sango."

"Oh."

I hear her sigh and stand up and walk outside of Kaede's hut.

"She's awake now."

There's shuffling for the door, but her voice rings out, commanding.

"No one is allowed to see her until I've spoken to her first."

You hardly ever hear this tone with Sango, I think that's why they listened.

I open my eyes, and she comes in and sits beside me.

"Kagome..."

"No Sango, he didn't rape me."

She goes slightly pink.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Inuyasha came before he got to it."

She breathes a sigh of relief.

"Alright then. I'm going to let them come inside, but please, take it easy."

"Hai."

She stands up and tells them that they can come in, and I turn my back toward them, facing the wall.

I don't want to speak to anyone right now.

The pig didn't rape me, but that doesn't change what happened before he did.

I said terrible things to Inuyasha. Something terrible is still going to happen. I have to figure out to stop it.

How do I do that?

_I need more information... I said I'd try to come back again... so..._

I'll just keep close watch over Kikyo and Inuyasha, and wait for another visit from the future me.

It's all I can think of right now, and it seems like the best solution.

I feel a slightly cold hand on my forehead, and I shiver from the touch.

"I'm glad you're alright," says Kikyo

_Sure you are. _

"Thank you."

I stare at her. She's not wearing miko clothes anymore. She's wearing a light pink kimono, with a soft grey obi.

"You... you're not a priestess anymore?"

"No. I decided it's best to live the life of a normal woman now that the jewel is destroyed."

"I see."

Oh Kami. I think she's out to seduce Inuyasha. She'll probably do it too.

I let out a dry sob.

I won't be able to stop them. Of course he'd pick her over me!

Her eyes narrow.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Y-y-yes."

What is this feeling of despair that won't leave me?

I hear the soft echos of her feet walking away, and the room goes quiet. They must have left outside.

Not even Inuyasha wants to speak to me. He probably thinks I'm defiled now. Didn't Sango tell him I wasn't?

My shoulder begin to shake, and I'm sobbing again.

Why is this happening? I've never felt so weak before.

"Kagome?" a voice says softly

It's him. Why is he back in here? Doesn't he have Kikyo to go screw?

"Kagome... "

I'm shaking again, and lies down beside me and wraps his arms around me, engulfing me in a hug.

I sob into his chest.

It's nice to be in his arms again.


End file.
